yesterday morning i had just made my morning mocha when there was a knock on the door. it was M who had organised for a bunch of tradesmen to come round and see the house and touch bases with one another and meet us and talk and all that jazz.

one by one they came, got introduced to us, got shown around, got briefed, looked at things, poked things, measured things, took notes, etc. the painter, the electrician, the plumber, M&K the builders, project managers and all round handymen, and the kitchen guy were all present and accounted for. only the flooring guy couldn't come because he was sick. i was really impressed! from our last bout of renovation, i had got the impression it's really difficult to pin down a tradesman and here were a whole bunch of them spanning the range of trades all in the same place at the same time! it was like being in a MDT meeting, with each guy being interested in and asking questions about his particular area of interest only. L did a great job showing people around and explaining his vision to them, he's much better at decorating and all that kind of thing than me. he did such a fantastic job the first time round picking colours and carpets and things that people always come in and comment on how they didn't expect the inside to look like it does after seeing the outside. haha that's what i call expectation management!

i didn't contribute much to the proceedings i don't think. and i had to ask for explanations more than once when this or that person asked me in a way that indicated they believed i had the power to decide "so do you want the (letters and numbers)?" and i go "Huh?" and M deftly interprets that into human language for me. he's good that guy. the fact that he got everyone together at 9am in the morning plus he rallies people around and gets things moving. he didn't have to. what started all of this was that i had emailed him and the kitchen guy in the same email saying ok what now and he took it upon him self to organise this pow wow so everyone would be on the same page. well done i say! this bodes well. i think he would make a good property manager, which he is, so he's clearly in his comfort zone:)

i was also impressed by how everyone who are obviously experts in their own field were so respectful towards me the sole woman. i wasn't ignored or sidestepped at all (not even when i was in my pyjamas and bedroom slippers and everyone else was in their full professional gear) but everyone who entered the house was shown to meet me, shake my hand and be introduced by name and title, and then briefed. my opinion was always asked even when my answer was often "hmm i haven't given that a single thought!"

kiwis are the bomb!

anyway the plan is long and big so i won't go into detail but suffice to say it involves the painter, the plumber, the sparky, the builders, the flooring guy, the kitchen guy, a new kitchen, new flooring, new shower, new laundry, paint job inside, outside, replacement of some rotting windows, etc etc etc

i hope i remember to take before and after pics though it won't be a quick one off job. i feel tired just thinking about it, mere female that i am lol!

 I suppose I should update.
Haven't achieved much since I got back, except spending a lot of time bonding with my husband :) 
Haven't studied, the garden is a shambles, did do some clearing up, cleaning/housework, have been doing a LOT of washing, which is great, and I knitted a beanie. Picture to come.

Been feeling very much unmotivated, until today. Finally my desperate prayers were answered and I feel renewed interest in life, strength, purpose and self-efficacy. Did all school and household filing/accounting and my desk is clear and ready to take on a new heap of papers and books in the coming weeks. There are 8 weeks til the winter holidays and only 5 of those have classes. Then it'll be assessments and assignments again. It all starts on Monday with a Fieldwork debrief, which is rather zo bo. Then Tues is off for studying, Wed pm exam, Thurs full day and Fri half day Ethics Workshops, whatever that means. I got this all off the draft timetable for next week. Hope that Fri pm stays free cos the man and I are heading away for the weekend woohoo!  Date! 

The weather is still rather good considering it's mid April. Had some wintry days but the temperatures are climbing this week to a high of 17 or 18 again max in the daytime, which is awesome! Sun energises me and gives me go, grey skies do not. And cold temperatures promote inertia and hibernation.

But alas no more hibernation from next week onwards! Body clock, no more slacking! Everyone, back to your positions, holidays are over. Back to school mode!

Made two savoury mince pies for dinner last night and had some leftover filling on potatoes from the garden. (Also used some in the Pureed Chicken and Roasted Pumpkin/Carrot/Garlic soup the night before.)  Considering we didn't plant any of them, God has been generously providing us with late, late potatoes. Since I got home we have had 3 big harvests. It's really fun and satisfying to harvest potatoes from the garden (well especially if you did plant them, which we didn't, so it's just fun for me) because unlike other crops which you eyeball from the time they are tiny and count each flower, leaf and fruit to reassure yourself they are growing, potatoes are a total surprise. You know how many plants there are, but not how many potatoes each will have. So on harvest day you just dig a bit, feel around a bit and one by one they pop up as pleasant little surprises. We have both yellow and red ones and they show up so well against the dark soil. It's lovely :)

Tonight we have another date. We used to go to the gym together before I went to Welly and since I got back as I said I have been super slack but on Wed I did a proper workout, by which I mean a sustained amount of time on cardio machines (30 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes cycle - thanks to iPod) and proper aching muscles the next day (chest, butt, arm - mmm!) from weights. I shall now endeavour to return to my previous routine of gymming every other day (with a measure of flexibility). So tonight after work we start with dinner together at home, then a gym date, then shower and head out for drinks. It's been awhile!

Day 3 in welly and day 1 on the job...

It was very positive. Work environment homely and comfortable, very well equipped kitchen, even got a freestanding stove and oven! Supervisors lovely and easy to get along with, no generation gap there. My main supervisor is a 24 year old surfer who reminds me of D, down to the sunny disposition and blond beard. He's quitting to go travelling with his girlfriend so placement will finish early. Problem is then that I can't find a cheap flight to go home earlier on! Even if I finish on Wed, my current flight is on Sunday! Argh. I don't want to sit around here and do nothing. It's homely but not my home!

Anyway got the bus ok, got lunch from supermarket, got a bit wet in morning rain, went round visiting services in morning (nice to be riding along in the car instead of sitting indoors), lunch, then went to Porirua to visit more services, then to a cafe with both supervisors for our initial meeting. Then got dropped to J'ville where i got groceries and trudged up the hill. Dinner was made for me (! Haven't had chance to talk to the mum about me making my own food, though I must say it's nice to come home to hot meal) and we all sat down together, chatted a bit with both P and S separately, was nice, a bit like being part of the family. First time eating with the daughter, typical teenager always out, plus this one is active in drama in school and church too. M rang and asked us out for a walk, the parents had home group but I went and met B and M and M's husband. Went for a lovely walk up the hill and along a ridge until it got too windy and we turned back. Didn't see any calves but spotted wild blackberries and true to expectations the intrepid sisters went in among the bushes and thorns in their shorts and picked them. They were lovely ripe and sweet! I must say sweet blackberries is a rarity. Absolutely scrumptious and I was really impressed how M knew what berries were what along the way.

A brisk walk back in the darkening and cooling evening and a nice end to the day. All that prayer certainly never goes to waste :)

(just occurred to me funny how both placements are/were in places beginning with "w")

Early start, same as school days. Picked up two friends and headed to airport. Sad to leave my sweetie of course! But I know it'll go fast. And I think this time will be more social, which is good.

Flight went well, weather was good, came in on time, met by a friend (also said hello to C's family and M) and whisked off by shuttle to the place I'm to call home for the next 5 weeks. Lovely family, very interesting travel/mission/volunteer history/stories so I've been chatting with them quite a bit already. I have a lovely room with a view and a toilet and bath pretty much to myself (they partitioned the house into a downstairs 1 br apartment and a 3br house upstairs to rent to different groups when they were away from NZ for periods at a time so I've got the downstairs room and quite a lot of privacy. Nowhere to hang anything but a great big chest of drawers into which I unpacked everything to feel quite "moved in".

Friend went off after a cuppa cos he'd just finished a week of nights, will meet up again for dinner or something.

L doesn't seem to be able to come up for a weekend and neither can I go down so this will be cold turkey for us. Our first time apart since getting married! But otherwise same old, we do this once in a while to keep us appreciating the other! Well not on purpose but it does happen that our relationship grows stronger when we are apart for a short while and we can come back together with new personal growth to share.

Got a ride out to the township and I managed to find my way back up the hill on foot, which took about 20 minutes but I'm sure my timing will improve. I know I won't have to worry about not getting enough exercise! Going for a haircut in a nice looking place (ie expensive) so hopefully I will be presentable and professional on Monday. I don't want to be glam, just not straggly. Going to church in the morning just down the hill so that will be convenient, and perhaps taking the bus to work to try out the route. Heard a few stories about how the buses aren't that reliable but oh well I can only do my best and pray and explain what happens to the supervisors right? I'm definitely less anxious and on slightly more equal footing this year than last. Quite a few of my friends are even negotiating quite unusual work schedules for frivolous reasons! I'm not though.

Lots of interesting books here in the house so maybe I won't have to visit the library and worry about getting a card after all. Spotted a few I have meant to read already which is good. Of course I will do some study and might even look into finding a yarn shop if I really run out of things to do. Walks are planned with B who's staying with her sis nearby. And there's always the dog to walk! (coincidentally it's a lab called Russ T! How uncanny is that, especially with Rustee sitting on my bed?) oh and telly. Spent the evening watching an english show about murders in a small town. Slow but surprisingly intriguing.

Had a nice bbq dinner with the couple and it was good. They had expected a 20 year old! Oh well hope they don't mind me.

This weekend is full enough I reckon, especially since I'm meant to rest up. Tonight bedtime is a bit late but I wanted to wait for the husband to get home from his boys night out but tomorrow will be an early night for sure.

hard to believe we have done only 4 weeks of term and harder to believe i'm starting placement on monday. i have been so busy i haven't even had time to process that yet. maybe that's good cos we just go and do it. given a week's holiday it would become a bigger deal and hence more unwarranted anxiety i'm sure.

but the past week in the library has certainly felt like end of term all over again and rushing assignments, except it's only week 4! tonnes of people are still in holiday mode but there is no rest for us year 2 OT ones. anyway it was good to finish everything and there was the shared lunch today with the year 1s. a fabulous spread to say the least thanks to the committee.. i hope the year 1s don't think this is going to be the usual standard, especially when the food is potluck they're gonna be disappointed!

only a few of us came for the last last class after lunch, for an hour. after which i went to the library (not a soul from my course there of course - some people already left as early as thurs!) to finish my prep work on mental health models so i could return the book and have one less thing to lug home. walked to town to get foot covers (i expect a lot of home visits) and caught the 330 bus home. got home and had a wee break by watering some plants and looking at the zucchini and tomato plants. now we definitely have more zucchinis growing (harvested our first 3 this week) and there are definitely tomatoes, green big ones! i sure hope the husband remembers to harvest them when ripe. i'm going away at the crucial time when the weather's warming up again and harvests are plentiful! sigh

got my packing list sorted but need the man to retrieve my backpack from storage. well not strictly, but i'm procrastinating. after my backpacker days my packing just gets less and less swift. why? i don't know. hope he'll be home earlier today. got some pre-departure bonding to do. heh.

been so busy it's nice to finally have nothing immediate to do. there is still work of course but nothing that can't wait til tomorrow. my flight is an early morning one and we're picking two other girls up. lots of OT students on the flight to welly tomorrow! gonna be fun...

made contact with the family i'm staying with and sounds good so far. not too sure about having dinner with them, i think i have become more like L and hence more xenophobic. i'm sure i'll get along wonderfully with them, but not sure how myself i can be.

tired. want to get to bed early tonight. i'm soooo gonna miss our bed! but at least i'll have my pillow and good old Rusty (the most well travelled stuffed dog EVER i'm sure)..

today is the start of the last lap to welly! i haven't found accommodation yet, but i feel unusually calm. not in my hands, i guess.

there are 3 big pieces of work for this coming week, and i've done one. that doesn't include weekly maintenance not-to-be-handed in work.

i think we could all benefit from a week's break before placement but alas that is not to be. good thing is that i'm definitely looking forward to it, i don't know what it will be like but my anxiety levels are low cos i know 1) it's not acute 2) i can do community 3) it won't be boring physical stuff ie equipment! and if i really think about it, it's not really 5 weeks. it's only 5x5 work days minus good friday = 24 actual work days. not a lot to build relationships with the team and clients or learn all i want to learn seeing this is my first mental health placement...

in the final stages of being sick, ie the long lasting cough and phlegmy rattle, but nothing life threatening.

i had a great birthday and felt really loved and remembered this year! started with 2 presents (cute bedroom slippers to replace my old ones and fancy toiletries) from the husband on the eve, then woke up on friday to 2 txt messages from my dad and a friend in sg. then a birthday song from Lik, which i think is the most important part to me, then off to school where one of my friends took it upon herself to tell everyone it was my birthday so because of my publicity manager i got lots of extra wishes. in class the lecturer even commented "i heard it was your birthday" and the class broke into song (i had that last year too) and then at lunch, this publicity manager friend bought me and another girl who turns 21 on monday "birthday coffees" from the cafe, then after class i hung out at the library working until the husband came to pick me up. we went for a dinner date at my current favourite place in dunedin, a japanese tapas bar with grilled, teppanyaki and deep fried delights. i LOVE that place! (we went there for v day too) and it's always good value for money too. then home and to bed early because this has been a long week for us. saturday, lik went to work and i stayed home feeling somewhat blue and tired. made a curry for the potluck and did some laundry and tried unsuccessfully to nap because i was so tired. finally sat down to do some work and lik came home early (surprise!) with a chocolate cake! yay! exactly what i was craving.. then at 6pm some friends came over and we had potluck dinner and drinks and chocolate cake and sat around talking for hours, ended much later than i expected seeing as we're oldies...

then today we slept in and woke up late together and had a nice breakfast. now we're sitting in the lounge with the fire going, about to do some work so we can play in the afternoon. i felt a distinct husband-deficiency this week since lik started his training and clinic work again, being far away during the day out of dunedin. but feeling somewhat topped up now, which is good. i'm away next sat! argh! it seems like there are so many things to do before that but yet it'll come so fast......

since the last post, i have not been idle.

we went for our Round-The-South-Island-In-Less-Than-A-Week road trip. more about that when I can be bothered to upload photos.

i started school. FULL ON! is the only way to describe it. I also received an award, which is given to the top first year student. Not having got any heads up (I doubt they had ever told us that such an award existed) I was more than surprised when my name was announced. We'd all been dozing through the early morning usual welcome "Welcome back... well done...this year... work hard... Stage 2 now... expectations... etc etc... and then with very little preamble the head of school said, "...given to the top student... goes to A------- L--!" and everyone clapped and the two girls between me and the aisle got up to let me through and I went *blink blink* and then went up confusedly to shake the hand of the head of school and receive a massive heavy glass-fronted case, in which was a large embossed plate made of silver. My name is engraved at the back with the year 2008 for posterity! After I got over the surprise I was very pleased. My first academic award since... primary school! Heh. Came with a card "well done etc" and a $50 book voucher which is the best part I'm gonna need it!

I had a weird dream last night too, must be the fatigue and stress of class and placement looming close.

I dreamt that MC was a prawn. (Visual image is cooked prawn, you know, curled up) She was pregnant and about to spawn. She was lying in my hand and suddenly lots of large eggs started pouring out (they resembled Israeli couscous or pearl barley but who knows what prawn roe looks like, not me) and I called to L to bring a bowl. I thought we should keep the eggs moist and warm so they would hatch. But while I was thinking this, it was a bad time to act because just then K and i were in a place that wasn't TA, but which had the choirmaster playing a piano. At least he "normally" (in the dream) played a piano. This time K and i were playing and I made many mistakes, all of which were loud and jarring. There was a spotlight on us, a lime follow spot, like a concert. When the lights went out the working lights were still on and I had an argument in the wings (while being at the piano) with the person (someone male, can't remember who but someone I know in real life) about why didn't he turn the working lights off and if he doesn't how can he expect them to *be* off? But then they faded out because someone else had turned them down, although in real life working lights are switch controlled not on the lighting board and therefore cannot fade and definitely not by the hand of the lighting op. Can't remember the rest...

Life group has resumed and so has Save The Humans. This is going to be a good year! We volunteered to babysit for a couple in life group who is expecting a second child in 2 months since this will be their last V day for awhile. Not sure what the plan for Sat is yet though. We are having a date on Fri instead to avoid the sea of couples on Sat!

Had class from 8-5 today and I'm knackered. Got some work to do and then hit the sack early. Hopefully this weekend there'll be time to upload some pics of the trip!

we're off on our holiday this friday so i've been trying to do some work in the garden/house as necessary. once school starts i will barely have time to cast a glance on the chore list!

planted out 10 okra plants yesterday and another 6 today. they're the 'Burgundy' type so i wasn't too fussed about chucking them anywhere i found space, since the flowers are meant to be really pretty. i hope so!

i've had a fun time this season beginning mid/late winter with the planning/fantasizing about what plants to grow from seeds. i ordered some seeds from what seems to be a rather large nursery that trades online and had fun growing what normally isn't available from garden shops. it's been mostly experimental, and i've learnt (surprisingly without much heartache) what grows and what dies almost immediately. and what doesn't even germinate (only borage. why? why? why? oh and stevia)

i think i might take a break from sowing (though i can't seem to stop thinking about how best to construct a raised no dig bed for winter crops, which if i set up now-ish, will mature til March just in time for the seedlings to go in. but i think it's a smarter move to resist taking on new endeavours and try and go back to basics, spruce up the enormous garden that isn't the vegetable beds, and generally improve the soil. there's also the thinking that we're not going to be here much past 4ish years (well depends also on market picking up again so it's hard to say) so by time the soil is lovely and rich i'll be gone and have to start from scratch! but it's all a learning process and i must say i'm happy that eventually i'll be able to teach my own children some real practical skills, rather than stuff like "if y = x2 +2x -24, find x and y" (yawn).

i'm also torn about buying new yarn for another big knitting project or closing shop for school cos once term begins i don't want to be distracted by the urge to complete whatever i'm knitting. and i don't want to have half done projects lying around either. it's been a productive summer knitting wise, seeing as i only picked it up couple of months ago. to date, i have successfully knitted 2 pairs of toddler socks for my nieces, a pair of me-size socks, a beanie for the man, a halter top, a lace headband and i'm now doing a mug cozy just for a quick fun thing. contrary to what lots of other knitters claim on their blogs, i think kitchener stitch is a joy to do (that's what you use to close up the sock toe, for example, and it is an invisible seam cos it continues the knit pattern) and i can tell i'm a dpn (double pointed needles, for knitting in-the-round as opposed to flat pieces which you then stitch together) girl too. nice to be developing my own style and preferences, like a knitting personality.

anyway, gong xi fa cai everyone!! wan shi ru yi, bu bu gao sheng, xue ye jin bu, kuai gao zhang da, zao sheng gui zi etc...

Have been meaning to update this with pictures because my main (new) occupation this summer (other than the usual gardening, cooking, baking, reading) has been knitting!

The first time I went into the knit shop the lady (and a random kaypo customer) said it was too ambitious to start learning to knit socks. As in, socks are too ambitious. But! I have proven them wrong... my first projects were 1) socks for my first niece 2) socks for my second niece 3) a beanie for the man to make him feel included (which incidentally was a huge success - a perfect fit and he wore it to our Christmas gathering and everyone loved it!) and 4) a pair of socks for me in a matching yarn to my second niece's :)

I haven't taken pictures, neither have I managed to keep up with documenting the continued profusion of new flowers in the garden. I might try later but these few days have been incredibly warm (lovely for being outside) and windy (bad for taking pics of flowers, they keep dodging, nodding and dancing away!)

I am pretty brown now though not evenly cos my colour is no longer from lying down skimpily clad beside pool/sea. I am brown from working in the garden and there is a limit to how skimpily I can dress without being fodder for over-the-fence gossip sessions ("Have you seen the girl in that house there? Always bending down to pull weeds and plant seedlings in that little bikini!") We have three bits of lawn but I can't really lie down in total privacy on any of them because in front we lack a fence, behind we are almost but still not completely screened out from the neighbours by the vegetation. Though the only ones I would be uncomfortable with seeing me are the ones at the back - rowdy teenagers whom we don't know and who throw drink bottles and cans over the fence once in a while - maybe they don't like having a view of our two compost heaps!

This afternoon we're going to book air tickets and accommodation for our trip back to Singapore. Yes we are going back to Singapore end May/beginning June, just for 6 nights. The purpose is to 1) attend J's wedding 2) hold that dratted relatives' lunch (I shall package it as "Meet the family" as opposed to "Wedding" so I can wear shorts and slippers ha!) 3) Catch up with friends, the last of which is going to be hard seeing as we have so little time. As much as I can I guess. Oh! And maybe eat lots of bak kwa and durian. Yum!

So Christmas was spent with some church/school friends and then a couple from Chch came to stay with us and that was heaps of fun. NYE will be a quiet romantic one at home.

Recently I have been thinking about how is it and why I seem to have made my life apart from all my close friends. Though I keep up with the closest and hear about others through these, still I realised that by escaping from Singapore I have inadvertently excluded myself from my friends' lives, not big things, but just little ups and downs which are too much trouble or don't seem worth the reporting on email/text/blog to me far away. By time it reaches me it seems like not news anymore. Even I feel that, so much so that I feel my getting married which would have been a big event in Singapore among my closest friends (endless sitting together in committee meetings planning this and that) was a sort of non event partly by choice (of location and of succumbing to logistics conundrums and just not inviting anyone). I feel somewhat regretful about this and I don't know if we will ever be able to rectify this and include our dearest friends. Similarly when my friends in Singapore get married and have babies, whether I can be present is dependent on circumstances. Attending weddings is more possible with a bit of warning and planning but I almost certainly won't be coincidentally around when people give birth and again by time I hear about it or even fly back once they go into labour (like, if I were filthy rich, which I'm not) it would be too late. Unlike the others who can just gather in the hospital at time of labour and wait together for the moment.

Hmmm.

I like my life here a lot and while I do sometimes think it was unusual (step of faith? alignment of stars?) for us to have left the country together after being together for a year most of which was apart cos I was in France, we both believe coming here has allowed us to develop as people and hence as partners much more than staying in Singapore would have. It's hard to say for sure, but we would have been more distracted, more tired, more irritable and certainly less free to explore life in Singapore. The big downside is that we are far from friends and family (though being in Singapore would still make me far from my sister and her family) but the upside is that I spend my days more fully, I think, having the time and mental space to think about things, try new things with people telling me "Go for it" rather than "Are you crazy?", develop interests that I never knew I had and could not fulfil in Singapore (gardening? tramping? flower identification? living off the land? buying locally grown? reducing food miles to zero?)

Yes, life is good but I must say being the person that I am, despite the huge changes I have undergone, I still miss my old friends and that is something that can't really be replaced and I don't try. I just try to keep up with them as much as possible, update when I can, reply to personal emails asking me how I am or what's new with me, responding to those who take an active interest. When a friend is miles away one doesn't stay in touch by the by, but it requires active effort to type that email and send it, or send that text.

I think of my friends often, sometimes dream of them, and I tell them when it's particularly funny or strange, otherwise I keep it to myself and enjoy the virtual company. Sounds strange doesn't it? But I think I should, in the new year, resolve to tell people more that I am thinking of them, or that I care about them.

New year resolutions then. I'll think about that today.

ps for those who are interested in what's growing ;) - the nursery holds basil, coriander, florence/bulb fennel, rocket and 9 baby flax plants, while outside we have zucchini, savoy cabbage, shallots, leek, celery, garlic, swiss chard, tomato, basil, dill, parsley, chives, sage, bay, rosemary(s), thyme(s), camomile, mint, oregano and mesclun. oh and the newest additions are a blueberry bush and a kaffir lime plant (yay!!!!!! i have been looking for this for literally years)