qu'as-tu fait ô toi que voilà pleurant sans cesse?

How many "coincidences" are needed every minute to keep us alive?

2009-07-16T01:31:25Z

last night after dinner i was about to take a shower when L came in and said, "We're having an earthquake." He took my free hand, (the other clutching my towel) and asked, "Can't you feel it?" A pause and then yes, I felt the house swaying. Not trembling like I'd once felt in Sg and not vibrating but a gentle sway, like we were on a boat, or like (which I earlier thought) I had had too much wine for dinner. "This feels just like when I'm drunk!" I informed him. He led me to the living room where we considered which table we should sit under (I read that in the event of an earthquake, stay under a doorway or a table). We have two hefty solid tables, my study table and the dining table. We decided the dining table was better (solid, space for two of us to stay together and towards the front of the house, which is upslope and hence less space under the house and more stable).

For awhile nothing happened, and we wandered around the house together. I felt strange and small, like we could be wiped out anytime. I could have been found dead clutching a large purple towel! We decided to stay together for awhile so we went back into the kitchen where he had been putting food away. He told me he had seen the blinds move and then felt the movement and gone to look for me. While we watched, the blinds started moving again, ever so gently, as if there was a breeze, which there wasn't. In the living room, the pendant lights were swaying slightly, again as if there was a breeze, but nothing else moved. No glasses sliding off shelves or anything. It was weird and surreal because it was so slight, yet perceptible. Like a warning.

L went to see if anything had been written about the earthquake but nothing had been yet. Not immediately, too early, I told him. I thanked God for protecting us and prayed for anyone who had been hurt.

Today, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, there's news on the earthquake, which I'd forgotten until I read the txt from my best friend in sg. I reassured her we were fine. I went about my day productively, all the time knowing we could have easily been closer to the centre, and the swaying could have been less gentle, just by a slight bit we were spared. Everyday our lives are spared when others are taken. It's a miracle we live day after day, each day is a gift and a miracle.

My hols so far..

2009-07-09T02:23:09Z

We had a great time in Wellington just relaxing, eating, drinking, making merry etc. The apartment we stayed in was on the dock so that it was right smack in town and close to everything but minus the noise and traffic. It was a one bedroom, just the right size for us, with a lovely bathroom with underfloor heating. That, I will miss. Everything was so comfy it was impossible not to relax and be happy! We explored town well and truly, shopped a lot, ate amazing food and generally lived it up in the big city. Saw a play, a french film and a comedy improv at a bar.

The day after we arrived home was our anniversary! After the week-long festivities, we decided to mark the day by going out for a nice dinner at a new flashy restaurant near our house. It didn't disappoint. We didn't take any pics of the food (we would look so unglam and everyone would stare!), or of ourselves (rain- and wind-swept and I remembered why Dunedin life is incompatible with dressing up and wearing makeup.) but we had a lovely time. And then we came home, sat in front of the fire with the rest of the bottle of wine we started at the restaurant and re-read our wedding vows to remind ourselves of what we committed to, and to try with renewed vigour to carry them out as best we can. I don't know what other people think of wedding vows, but they generally don't say "I promise to try and be a good spouse when I feel like it". Those would be easy to keep. But ours promise body and mind etc, very full on so I was glad we went over them. I think husbands and wives need to be reminded of what the promise was, in order to keep them.

After the weekend L went back to work starting at a new clinic down the hill from us, and this chapter will see us save lots of petrol money cos he walks up and down the hill to/from work, and he also signed up at flashy Les Mills in town. I'll continue to patronise good ol' Unipol. I must say when we went with the free trial passes to Les Mills, I did miss Fitness First. This gym is probably the most flash but still a good long way from the flashy gyms in Singapore. Can't believe they used to even give out workout clothes and provide all kinds of toiletries! Are Singaporeans the most pampered or what! There's no reason why everyone who is a gym member in Singapore shouldn't be super fit! Well I found myself thinking if I didn't have to bring anything except my socks and shoes to the gym, which was the case in FF but no longer here, it would be so convenient to go all the time! Yeah right. I don't remember going that much, though who knows when I get used to this if I ever join a gym in Sg again I will be so awe struck by how convenient it is I'll go... all the time!

This week I've been taking it easy and enjoying myself by doing whatever I feel like when it takes my fancy. No such luxury when term restarts! I've been making food, reading, doing chores around the house, lots of knitting (still working on that scarf but almost there!)...

Next week I should probably start shifting my body clock away from 10 or 11am getting up times and more towards 6 or 7am. Sigh. And maybe do some reading. The results are starting to come back to us and I hope that motivates me to work harder and prepare more for next sem, although I am fully aware none of this is of my own strength, but God's grace and blessings. When I am weak He is strong, hooray! There is hope for me yet.

Waiting for the firewood guy to deliver 5m3 of firewood but he hasn't rung. Didn't give me an ETA either so I've been pottering around the house within earshot of the phone. Later I'll make a shepherd's pie for dinner. :) This week is probably the most varied in terms of dinner menu cos I've got the time and energy (and equipment, I lately realised is very important) to make nice meals. We had pork-and-prawn dumplings with noodles in homemade chicken stock on Monday, then homemade pizza-from-scratch on Tuesday, then Coq au Vin last night with rice and roasted pumpkin last night, and shepherd's pie tonight. Tomorrow, possible a chicken pilaf or a Turkish lamb something-or-other with pita bread and yoghurt. Also did an Upside Down Apple Cake which tasted lovely but almost caused me a massive rage cos the cake refused to cook properly at first. And finally used up the last of the apples from our tree yesterday making dried apple rings for L to eat with cereal.

Productive and happy! :)

the world has gone nuts, i don't recognise anything anymore

2009-06-16T02:20:12Z

Woke up to an unbelievable sight. a good 10cm of snow had remained from the snow overnight. dunedin never looks like this! looked and felt weird cos we are essentially like in a beach house with a couple of cm of wood between us and the thick blanket of snow. it's crazy! felt rather cut off from the world, especially since buses aren't running, and we don't have a radio at home, but got updates from the online local newspaper and friends.

my viva exam was at first off, then on, then in the end i couldn't even make it into campus (which was closed, officially, i guess the lecturers have their own key and their own ideas) cos there are no buses and i certainly can't walk all the way there, not with this snow! but apparently in town it's clear on the ground now. well it's not here.

i know i'm not the only person stranded but i'm grumpy as hell about having to wait and see when i'll be rescheduled to. yes i have a bit more time to prepare but i'm over it and i want it to be done already!

grumpy as hell!

now i'm warm at least cos the husband came home at lunch (i wonder if he's worried at all about these road conditions - papers full of reports of accidents and how treacherous it is but he even offered to send me to school, except i wouldn't have anywhere to wait to be picked up cos the polytech is closed and the lib is also closing early today so i might be booted outside seeing as the husband always finishes work late) and started a fire and brought in another heater for my study. but i'm SO cranky.

i'm not inspired to work, nor to study for my upcoming exams. my life feels so messed up cos of today. i feel majorly thrown off. i'm GRUMPY!!!! yes yes yes don't tell me how lucky i am etc etc. I AM GRUMPY SO THERE!

il est rentré!

2009-06-02T23:16:50Z

alors, c'est aujourd'hui. mon chéri rentre! il fallait me réveiller tôt ce matin pour bosser mais je ne l'ai pas fait. pas assez tôt en tout cas. c'est pas ma faute! notre lit est trop confortable, c'est toujours une lutte pour nous lever.

ça ne fait que 5 nuits mais il me sens très long. je le trouve un peu difficile à croire que nous allons nous réunir ce soir. on va chez Plato pour dîner. un rendez-vous!

ce sont les derniers jours avant le fin du semestre et il me reste pas beaucoup de temps. je travaillais lentement mais au moins je fais du progrès. j'ai quatre devoirs et deux examens, et puis c'est fini, on part d'ici jusqu'à la capitale pendant une semaine. Yay!

mais pour le moment, je travaille, et j'attends. loo dee doo dee doo.

I thank God today for...

2009-05-14T05:24:01Z

1. Carrying me through a full day of classes, even though I woke up with a headache.
2. Giving me the words to say during my two presentations and in answer to questions by lecturer.
3. Blessing me with a full hot lunch.
4. Giving me a bonus 2.5 hours off today, one in the morning and the rest by finishing early.
5. Allowing me to catch the bus right away so I didn't have to wait around.
6. Helping me up the hill with my ENORMOUS bag.
7. Guiding me to find kindling in the back yard (!!) for making a fire. Seems to be going well despite sizzling sounds. No smoke though.
8. Answering my prayers
9. ALWAYS providing my needs whether I ask or not. That's not just today.

Therefore it's all Him that I lived through today. It's been a long one I must say. But He also helped me to do some sowing and food prep when I got home. And I feel enough energy thanks to Him to do some homework! That is incredible seeing as I really wanted to come home at 9am this morning and head to bed that's all I could imagine managing to do...

Praise God who sustains me :) All honour and glory is His.

Holidays are almost over and I have enjoyed every hour of being at home!

2009-04-24T03:52:32Z

I suppose I should update.
Haven't achieved much since I got back, except spending a lot of time bonding with my husband :)
Haven't studied, the garden is a shambles, did do some clearing up, cleaning/housework, have been doing a LOT of washing, which is great, and I knitted a beanie. Picture to come.

Been feeling very much unmotivated, until today. Finally my desperate prayers were answered and I feel renewed interest in life, strength, purpose and self-efficacy. Did all school and household filing/accounting and my desk is clear and ready to take on a new heap of papers and books in the coming weeks. There are 8 weeks til the winter holidays and only 5 of those have classes. Then it'll be assessments and assignments again. It all starts on Monday with a Fieldwork debrief, which is rather zo bo. Then Tues is off for studying, Wed pm exam, Thurs full day and Fri half day Ethics Workshops, whatever that means. I got this all off the draft timetable for next week. Hope that Fri pm stays free cos the man and I are heading away for the weekend woohoo! Date!

The weather is still rather good considering it's mid April. Had some wintry days but the temperatures are climbing this week to a high of 17 or 18 again max in the daytime, which is awesome! Sun energises me and gives me go, grey skies do not. And cold temperatures promote inertia and hibernation.

But alas no more hibernation from next week onwards! Body clock, no more slacking! Everyone, back to your positions, holidays are over. Back to school mode!

Made two savoury mince pies for dinner last night and had some leftover filling on potatoes from the garden. (Also used some in the Pureed Chicken and Roasted Pumpkin/Carrot/Garlic soup the night before.) Considering we didn't plant any of them, God has been generously providing us with late, late potatoes. Since I got home we have had 3 big harvests. It's really fun and satisfying to harvest potatoes from the garden (well especially if you did plant them, which we didn't, so it's just fun for me) because unlike other crops which you eyeball from the time they are tiny and count each flower, leaf and fruit to reassure yourself they are growing, potatoes are a total surprise. You know how many plants there are, but not how many potatoes each will have. So on harvest day you just dig a bit, feel around a bit and one by one they pop up as pleasant little surprises. We have both yellow and red ones and they show up so well against the dark soil. It's lovely :)

Tonight we have another date. We used to go to the gym together before I went to Welly and since I got back as I said I have been super slack but on Wed I did a proper workout, by which I mean a sustained amount of time on cardio machines (30 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes cycle - thanks to iPod) and proper aching muscles the next day (chest, butt, arm - mmm!) from weights. I shall now endeavour to return to my previous routine of gymming every other day (with a measure of flexibility). So tonight after work we start with dinner together at home, then a gym date, then shower and head out for drinks. It's been awhile!

home sweet home

2009-04-10T01:11:23Z

I'm soooo happy to be home again. Felt like I'd been away much, much longer than I actually have, and I think that's because I was so engaged in life in Welly, which is good, but it's even better being home with my sweetie again.

L was off yesterday so although the weather was horrible, we dressed sensibly and headed out after a long, slow morning together, into the country. Had a bit of a drive and then we went into town and mucked about. I love mucking about with him. We checked out the new mall (flash but still bare), went into some shops having sales and finally got him a black cardigan that I must say is rather metro, but of course looks good on him, and a slinky sleep top for me. Nice! Had a dinner date at my favourite restaurant then headed home early to spend more quality couple time together. It's been really enjoyable catching up and talking and enjoying each other's company knowing we don't have to say goodbye again for at least a few weeks. It's a luxury and a blessing to go to sleep together and wake up together and spend the day together. Today he's at work but it's a glorious sunshiney day and I'm making good use of it to unpack, do some washing, cleaning, spruce up the house a bit, not that he let it go to pot when I was away (and contrary to many women/wives warning me otherwise, I did not come home to a pigsty. My husband's not that kind of guy fortunately.) I came home to vacuumed rooms, a scrubbed bath (he knew that was high on my priority list post-journey), no heaps of dishes in the sink (instead they were clean in the dishwasher) and even some pretty tulips on my bedside table! Plus, bubbly in the fridge and chocolates in the bedroom. Mmmmm. *bliss out*

Today we had breakfast together and when he headed to work I began work too. Been rather productive in terms of housework. :) But not rushed or stressed, just cruising along. Which is great. We've also been blessed with another long weekend to look forward to, beginning this evening and lasting till Monday! I'm so glad I came home on Wed instead of Sunday, which was the original plan. I'm so glad my supervisor was leaving Welly on Wed so I could too (in fact we were on the same plane).

Wandered out into the garden to check things out earlier. The weeds are bigger so I know the soil's getting more fertile with all that compost we put on it. Ha. Well that's fine cos I'm not planting for awhile. We had some courgettes from the garden yesterday and today I might pick some tomatoes and bring them in to ripen since the heat isn't reliable (fine and sunny this weekend, but a max of 15 degrees - it's definitely autumn).

I also picked my first apple of the season from our tree out front. The apples are bigger and less diseased than last year, and I didn't do anything to it. Therefore I conclude that last year they didn't do so well because the previous owners had put chemicals on it and the tree was still trying to get over that, it's managed to do that and recover over this year so this season the apples are gorgeous! I ate the one I picked fresh off the tree, and it was delicious. Crunchy, sweet and tart. Lovely lovely lovely! Thank God for growing such beautiful yummy apples for us :)

Hopefully this weekend we can head out for a daytrip to a special place we discovered in summer out in the country. It's a beautiful spot by a river whose name we didn't know, so we named it after a black dog we saw splashing around in it. It's a great spot to sit and enjoy the view with a picnic! I've really missed L's cooking. Though I've eaten well in Welly and taken care of myself in terms of cooking proper dinners with lots of veggies and having lots of sleep, it can't beat having a gourmet meal cooked with style and love from the husband. He's really good at that. I always tell him I'll definitely come back to his restaurant again lol :p

Off to put out a second load of washing. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Today many years ago, He sent his only son Jesus to die and pay the price of our sins. So that we can celebrate the victory of Jesus' blood over death and destruction. I'm looking forward to celebrating with God's people on Resurrection Sunday.

Count your blessings, people!

This is it, boys!

2009-04-08T05:32:13Z

I love free wifi, which is what Wellington Airport offers (plug plug plug!)

Got a ride with the family so that saved me a lot of road stress (hate rush hour! definitely won't miss that when I'm back in good old Dunners) and got me here nice and early. Sat around abit with them and sent S off then P left and I am sitting in the evening sun on my lappy rather happy. Got some food and snacks and things so all set for the next 1.5 hours or so. Got my fat book I haven't even got halfway through, or an article on my desktop, qualitative research on seclusion experiences in Lesotho, or this, the world wide web. And my iPod.

Something smells familiar, and nice and warm. Smells like... lu3 ya1 or cha2 ye4 dan4, both of which would be rather unusual here, but not entirely impossible.

Feel rather organised cos I remembered to tie up all loose ends at work. ended the day quite nicely, with just the boss and my supervisor, and the boss had read a card I had written to the whole team and given to my other supervisor at lunch, and she really liked it and said to remember them when I was looking for a job in 1.5 years time; I said I would promote this placement to the juniors, and certainly it's set a very high standard for me and later placements are going to be hard pressed to match up, certainly I don't imagine that placements are meant to get higher and higher in standard, there'll be some shitty ones I'm sure but maybe with a proper caseload and more responsibility and more client contact it'll be more fun. But anything acute already sort of sets itself up for my disapproval. When I got home (had rushed up the hill, sort of) it was all quiet and the garage door was closed so I thought I'd missed both of them, saying goodbye, but after I finished packing I went upstairs to make my sandwich to take with me and voila they were both there! They agreed to wait for me to go together but in the end I was ready before S was, and I managed to strip the bed as well and put the linen in the laundry. I'm happy about that. Had meant to take the rubbish out but someone'd beat me to it.

The whole day was running a bit late or tight on time, but it's all good cos I prayed and God's doing His thing and the weather's great, I never got wet or blown about in the wind, got a ride, here early, remembered everything, it's sweet!

How sweet it is to be loved by Him!

all reflected out

2009-04-02T07:16:47Z

Yesterday I didn't feel like I had any reflections to write. Which is a first. I often feel too lazy/confused to write them, but feeling like I haven't any, is still a first. Today, I feel the same.

I wonder if I am all reflected out with all the ethical issues I have been reflecting on.

I think after the follow up on Wed with S and seclusion policy, my brain is tired. Monday was a super long day, as in we left at 6pm. Tuesday was long in terms of there were 3 big goals and lots of travelling. Wednesday was long in terms of different foci during the day and having to switch from one mode to another to another. So somehow two days ago it felt like a Thurs, and yesterday felt like a Fri. But alas they are not. I still feel this weird time lapse/warp because even though I've felt like the wrong day for a couple of day, it's still persisting. It feels like a Saturday today and going into work is sure going to feel strange tomorrow, cos it's a feels-like-Sunday. I'm off! Like jetlagged except I haven't been on a plane. My body clock is a bit off. I find myself having dinner earlier and earlier and getting hungry earlier too, because the days are getting shorter and as it gets dark I get hungry for dinner. Daylight saving occurs this weekend, and I don't know the effect that will have on my body clock.

In other news, my real "last week" has begun. Today is my last Thursday and tomorrow will be my last Friday in Wellington. Tomorrow meeting a friend for dinner in town, for a break. Saturday, gotta prepare for my final assessment. Sunday, church, rest and possibly see the Impressionists at Te Papa finally, it's my last chance. Monday is my final assessment, then Tuesday, already booked up with appointments, Wednesday, one last supervision, possible drua in the morning, possible shared lunch, certainly leaving at 3pm to make my plane at 7pm.

Tick tick tick! I'll be home with my sweetie in no time at all. And that's a big bonus but I'll miss being part of the team here, it's been great :)

God's perfect timing

2009-04-01T07:51:49Z

God also showed His hand again yesterday when I went to Vincents and found that the dish I'd made in the art workshop in the acute ward two weeks ago had just that day been fired and packed away in a box to take back to the hospital. I had asked the art tutor to put mine aside in Vincents and not bring it back to the hospital together with the rest cos I wanted to pick mine up and take it back to Dunedin, and I wouldn't be back at hospital. She agreed but apparently forgot. When I arrived yesterday, I bumped into her at the door and recognised her, and reminded her who I was. I was not a day too early nor too late! If I hadn't gone yesterday, which I almost didn't cos it was late and I was tired, I would have missed the chance to pick up my piece. If I had gone last week as I'd originally planned on my day off, but changed my mind about, it would have been too early and the piece would not have been fired and ready to take away. Praise God because He is never late nor early but just perfect. :)

honour

2009-04-01T07:45:13Z

God honoured me lots today!

In the morning I was chatting to the woman who sits behind me in the office. I don't work directly with her, cos she does stats and business reports, but we do have morning coffees together sometimes and we have talked quite a bit over the time I've been here. I was telling her that my last day was next Wed and she exclaimed was it my last week already? and time has gone so fast! and i said yes i felt the same and then she said i seem like one of the staff and I thought that was so sweet because that meant I had fit in well with the team and got on and been accepted as one of the staff. All this time I have always felt that I haven't once been treated as "just the student" even though that's how I introduce myself everytime I'm at the receptionist's desk using the computer and someone comes in with a delivery or something wanting a signature. Lol.

Later during supervision, my supervisor who's also one of two service leaders (the second level below the Wellington regional manager) said that if I were qualifying soon, I would have a job if I wanted one, and said that the other service leader had asked how long more before I qualified. Well, seeing as I'm in second year, semester one, quite awhile to go. But it was a great honour cos while we hear of people getting jobs from their last placement of year 3, I haven't yet heard of people getting job offers from the first placement in year 2! I'm absolutely stoked and I'm glad to hear that cos I can really imagine myself working with this team, though it's a bit harder imagining myself living here. Well there are other bits and suburbs I haven't checked out yet, so maybe it's possible yet.

And then this evening I received an email from a girl I had met at the human rights workshop yesterday, her company is a private peer-led service that organised it and we had had a lovely 2 hour chat after the workshop in the office with other people chiming in as and when. It's a very open office and obviously a tight team. No hiding away behind partitions and in cubicles. She said in her email that everyone in the office had said "how great you were" and that I had the stamp of approval from the company, which means something to me because they are all consumers.

I am so inspired to be part of this revolution gathering momentum. It was really heartening reading a publication by the Mental Health Consumer Advocacy group that said what I thought, and felt. I agree with this stuff! No more cognitive dissonance like being forced to dehumanise and depersonalise clients because the INSTITUTION says so. I love it! This is interesting day to day stuff (I interviewed a lady by myself today because my supervisor was tied up by an impromptu visit from the psychiatrist and she told me very clearly and certainly how she went to work at Parliament twice a week at 7am, and even elaborated on her portfolio, which is Education. It wasn't crazy blabbering or a joke, but a firm, fixed delusion. Said in the same tone, voice and breath as telling me she went shopping for groceries once a week and watched telly in the evenings) but real cutting edge life changing macro stuff and its great! We are on the cusp of a historical milestone like female emancipation, end of apartheid etc. Woohoo!

I want to be part of this. Thank God for blessing me with this experience and all the wonderful opportunities and people placed in my path!

funny dog

2009-03-30T08:02:30Z

the dog is sooo funny. he sleeps here and there on the carpet snoring like a big old man. and just now he was wagging his tail while lying down on his side, eyes closed, maybe dreaming, thumping the floor. when i walked past he stirred a bit and wagged his tail some more. so friendly even when asleep. :) aw.

a sad dream

2009-03-29T06:30:28Z

oh yes i had a strange dream last night that woke me up and i felt so sad when i woke that i cried. couldn't go back to sleep then and lay in bed for almost 30 minutes before i got up, went upstairs and had some biscuits with milo.

i can't remember all of it, but the scene just before i woke up was this. there was a boy, and he was putting things into my pocket. i think they were supposed to be fish and prawns, but he was teasing and playful and i thought he had put two snails in my pocket. i got really angry with him, accused him of doing so and he denied it. so i said i would prove it and either looked into my pocket or poured everything out, only to find that there were no snails and there were a whole lot of good fish and prawns. i realised that he had been giving me all the best of what he got, and i woke up, and i cried.

my friend said the moral of the dream was don't be a nasty old bag. okay, point taken.

a few days ago, i dreamt i was enrolled in a university programme in australia that was called SMART and was some programme of scandinavian studies. when term began my friends were in another university and although when i registered i really wanted to go to SMART, i changed my mind cos i wanted to be with my friends. i finally made my way to the uni and had a look in the scandinavian studies classroom, which was a lab and a lecture theatre at the same time, except the whole thing had about 2 feet of water, like it was sitting in a swimming pool. the pool was lit from underwater. as i looked around i saw posters and schedules, project work pinned on the boards like any other classroom, and the course looked really interesting. i'm not sure if i managed to change courses and unis cos i don't remember the rest.

where does the raw material for my dreams come from? aren't dreams supposed to be the mind's way of making sense of, categorising and filing away things and thoughts that occur in daytime?

feeding the body and mind

2009-03-29T06:19:42Z

pretty tired, and i think there are two reasons for that - having a bush walk today which was incredibly hot and sunny, and eating too much for dinner. I had cooked a big pot of mince, carrots, tomatoes, onions, garlic on Thursday and it had lasted me until today, which is 4 meals, and is on the verge of too long in the fridge (though i always heat it up thoroughly) so although it could have been two meals or perhaps a meal and a half, i finished it. had it on a bed of boiled potato and raw baby spinach. yum! i splurged at the bakery on friday for desserts for the weekend, partly because its the weekend before my most stressful week at work, though quite a big part of the reason was that i was waiting ages for the ATM and the bakery happened to be there! i wandered in and thought ok i'll treat myself and then i felt bad just buying one item so i bought another. oh well. bakeries are not cheap! i had a slice of bavarian apple cake last night and tonight (or tomorrow night if i remain this full) i have a custard tart. yum.

yesterday i stayed at home and relaxed and it was a hugely hot day so i did some washing, vacuumed my room, changed and washed the sheets, which is my Sat routine by now. i quite like having a routine for cleaning and washing, cos then i don't have to work out which is the best day to do it, and it's fixed. we don't even have fixed routines for cleaning or washing at home! but here i do. it gives a little structure to my week, since i'm missing my husband whose collaboration usually produces some kind of structure to the week normally. did some work too. and walked to j'ville to buy groceries and visit the bank (and was waylaid by the bakery).

today i went to church with S and it was really interesting. M gave a sermon involving themes picked from several books and Bible verses. it was about Christians being rich, and middle class, and no longer going out to reach towards the marginalised, that Jesus used to do. And the verses were somewhat "radical" ones, like giving a banquet for the poor and homeless, is that literal? (i think so) and the rich young man who asked how to gain eternal life and was told to sell up and give to the poor and follow Jesus and he went away sad cos he was too rich, and the sheep being separated from the goats, depending on whether they gave food to the hungry, a drink to the thirsty, clothes to the naked and visited those who were sick or in prison and Jesus said whenever they did that to "one of the least of these" they did it to Him.

then i went into town and who did I meet but "one of the least of these". i was sitting alone on a bench waiting for my friend. a drunk man was singing and carrying on and lay down to sleep on the street. then he got up after a while and came and sat next to me. remembering what we had discussed just this morning i spoke to him nicely, with respect and without negativity. we chatted awhile, about where we were from, introduced ourselves etc, and shook hands. (i remember the friendliness of drunkenness). after awhile he asked me for some money and i hesitated and finally said i didn't think i could help him. i was struggling because as he later said, he wanted some dollars to buy a beer, he said he needed a beer. i tried to steer the conversation to did he live around here, so i could suggest he went home to rest, cos he looked like he really needed some sleep and food perhaps. if he'd asked me for money for food i would have said yup let's go get you a sandwich. but he said he was going to get a beer. so i said i didn't think i could help him and eventually he said he would try asking someone else, and i said ok, and my friend arrived so we left for lunch.

is it my place to judge what he uses the money for, knowing he needs it? does this count as "needing" money? does he "need" a beer the way a hungry person needs food? i don't know. i came home and shared this with both P and S to see what they thought or what they would have done. P said he would also have bought the man food but not given him money for beer while S didn't have any concrete suggestions. P asked if a man in a burning house wanted some kerosene, should we give it to him cos he wanted it? is that analagous?

i might pose this question to my old BS group and current home group and see what they think, what they would have done. on my part, i felt i did right speaking to him like to any other person, not judging him, but then in my heart i was gradually afraid that if i steered the conversation too much or tried to make suggestions of what he did need, he might get upset and possibly aggressive. but i didn't treat him like he was going to be aggressive at all, didn't draw away, shook his hand when he offered it twice, looked him in the eye, didn't move away until my friend came. i wasn't afraid of him, only thought he *might* get upset, which was a possibility same as anyone. i could have offered a meal instead but i didn't. did i lack courage? i don't know. it's not the money, so maybe i just wasn't confident enough to do as Jesus would have, which i guess is to say "You don't need a beer, come let's go and get something to eat together". I don't think my friend would have been very thrilled at that though.

Any thoughts?

After that we went for a walk in the bush and it was beautiful, plus a proper uphill climb that left us both slightly puffed. I felt I got a proper workout, which is good. A good use of a beautiful Sunday.

Tomorrow, starts another week that will zoom by. The only difference is I can't let this one go by without achieving what I need to do. There's going to be a lot, a lot of prayer, and I know a lot of prayer will be answered too.

10 days to go!

the weekend, ahhhhhh

2009-03-27T04:48:00Z

Since it's Friday of Week 3 and by my standards it went well (meaning nothing went as planned and it was lots of spontaneous chaos - love it! Never a dull moment means no need to clock watch hooray!) and because this weekend I have serious work to do (maybe tomorrow since there'll be rain - I'll endeavour to stay home ALL DAY LONG on Saturday) and because I'm sitting in a sunny spot with the sun on my back, I thought I'd write some observations and things I've learnt since coming to NZ.

I guess like any other country there are ways of speaking that are local or colloquial. And of course, English is not the same everywhere so here's a list of phrases/words particular to kiwis and what they mean in sg english. Some of these I have unconsciously adopted but I'm sure I'll be able to codeswitch whenever necessary, like if/when we go back to Sg for a (well-defined period of) work stint.

"Do you want to...?" => "I'd like you to..."
"How're you going?" => "How are you doing?"
"You're alright" => "It's okay"
stoked => happy, excited
gutted => disappointed, upset
jandals => slippers
slippers => bedroom slippers
washing => laundry
tea => dinner
"..,aye." => "..,hor?"/"..,right?"/"..,ok?"/"..,you know?"
sweet as => any positive adjective. Note not a comparison, ie not "sweet as (anything)", just "sweet as (fullstop)".
awesome => any superlative adjective
whereabouts => where (ie. "Whereabouts is it?" rather than "Where is it?" I *never* hear "Where is it?")
stuffed => tired
lollies => sweets, candy
chook => chicken
crook => sick

Ok tired now. Dinnertime soon!

My favourite Psalm

2009-03-26T08:13:28Z

Psalm 139
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

God showed me that He knows and cares about the big and little things that I do and that happen to me. Earlier this week He turned a wintry, grey, cloudy, wet Wellington into beautiful blue skies and sunny days that we've enjoyed for a few days and seems set to stay for a wee bit longer. Prayer does work.

Today He showed me again that even when I'm not actively thinking about what is going to happen or what I have to do (maybe *because* I wasn't actively trying to control/plan everything), He is at work. I left work a few minutes later than I'd planned to catch the bus into town for my appointment at the Family Planning Clinic. They had rung me 7, yes 7 times earlier that morning to try and shift my appointment earlier because the clinic was closing early. As I left the building I saw the bus coming and started to run. Halfway I knew I wasn't going to make it (had to run across motorway junctions!) and stopped. At that same moment I saw a car in the bus bay. I took awhile to recognise a lady from work who offered me a ride. She was going towards town and I gratefully hopped in. She told me she went right through town so she could drop me exactly where I was headed. Along the way we had a nice chat and when she dropped me off I was just in time, even a few minutes early. She had also saved me $4 bus fare. Earlier this morning I was worried about whether I would have enough cash to take the bus into town and home again ($4 cash each way, I don't have a bus card) cos I normally don't carry much cash. So I did have enough cash to go home. Prayer does work.

Praise God for not only listening to and answering prayer, but also working to take care of me when I'm not praying. That's maybe why despite news that Air NZ is going on strike on the Wed I'm scheduled to fly back to Dunedin, I'm not worried or feeling too anxious. As long as whatever happens is God's will, I'm sweet. He always knows what's best and I trust Him completely.

So that's what it is..

2009-03-23T18:17:30Z

Finally figured out what the whirring, almost gentle roaring sound in the mornings is. I always thought it was someone showering upstairs, and that's close, because its the gas going for the central heating I reckon. Sounds like muffled plane taking off. Not loud, but always makes me think I should get up cos others are up already. Found out this morning that is not true. I had my breakfast and made my lunch without meeting or hearing a single human stirring. Even the dog continued sleeping.

Today I am being picked up by my two supervisors early at 745 down the hill to attend the closing blessing ceremony of one of the residential services that is moving to a spanking new purpose built house. I've attended a ward blessing before so I think there'll be no surprises. Then my supervisor, post-midway (which went ok - neither fabulous nor dire), has arranged for me to have more client contact time this week, which I'm happy and excited about. Since this is the start of the return trip (past the halfway mark) I should up the ante and pick up my pace and really get stuck in and make the most of my time, instead of cruising through another two weeks I reckon. Plus I need to find a client to go through the entire OT process with, just to show my competence for my final assessment. They aren't worried so that's a good sign. And already my week is filling up. There'll be one initial interview and two AMPS assessments today planned, if the clients do show up for the appointments.

Tomorrow, walking group in the morning. Thursday possibly two appointments with A from mobile services. Monday, ring the new OT from respite and arrange to come over. At some stage I also have to get hold of the social worker and arrange to come shadow him. All that, and do my project, write up a summary of the Mental Health Act, attend a human rights workshop for mental health users, find out about various things, talk to various people etc etc. Busy! But as my classmate and I were saying yesterday this placement is going better for both of us this time, she's not stressed and I'm not bored. Sweet!

Definitely not bored. So much to do, so little time. I've got my exam prep to do too. Argh! *breathe* must maintain this current good level of stress. Ohm.

an unexpected dream

2009-03-22T03:00:06Z

last night i dreamt that MT had returned. as in, he'd disappeared for years and years (which in a sense he really has since I haven't seen him since what, 1995?) but yeah he was back, came to look for me, looked totally different (though only realised this when i woke up, hadn't struck me in the dream) and we had an amazing reunion... all this strange and wonderful backstory came out, as in what had happened ever since way back when, and it was pretty sweet. now that i think about it properly (though lots has been lost over the course of the day, it was most vivid just in that space between sleep and waking), he was rather hefty, no longer the thin waify person i used to know. i found that out when we hugged each other, you know, when we met.

i told him it was all different now, and incongruous with all the other dreamlike details and sequences, in my dream i was married to L, as i am, and that was correct, and i told him that.

there was another guy, another old friend, who may just exist in the dream, though he was a dearly cherished friend in it, whose name was Blair. now i wonder who's that?

i let myself forget all the vividness and detail and saga during the course of the day, because i don't need to remember it. the meeting was sweet, a surprise, and enough for me. good to know he's doing well (and i'm gonna take it as that, cos i can really believe it)

went to church as usual, bought some groceries, came home and had lunch with the family. i had my never-ending risotto and they had soup, bread and chicken nuggets. i couldn't believe my eyes when they all put honey on their nuggets! personally i haven't had nuggets for ages, all that crap that goes into it, though i'm sure one day i'll have some for a treat, and i'm sure not to put honey on them. it's an american thing, and certainly not a kiwi thing. apparently. tonight i've planned a chicken curry udon with lots of veggies. yum!

studied some schizophrenia for DFO, now fractures. *yawn* i'm so not into orthopedics.

looking forward to the week, hope it's interesting and goes fast. stay tuned!

Feeling odd

2009-03-21T06:16:30Z

I did lots of work today. Steadily through the day. It helped a little that once in a while the dog would come and say hello, get a pat and sit with me.

Wrapped up for the day finally when the family set out to someone's place for dinner. Everyone's out. Even the dog was invited for dinner! I don't mind being alone. Started to make dinner, a wholemeal penne with pesto, mushroom, sage, tomato and heaps of garlic. It was quite yum, had it with the pinor noir I bought yesterday. And some chocolate kisses for dessert.

For a bit of company I switched on the telly. Caught the last bit of the weather and now it's a programme about boys being trained to become farmer and real men over a period of 2 years. When I saw the setting of the farm where they're training, out in the country, the paddocks, the animals, the bush, I wanted to cry for being stuck here in the city without my husband. I look forward to one day living in the country together. Not sure when that can happen. And I'm perfectly comfortable here in this home, but it's not my home and nothing's the same without my man. Even lovely meals.

Sitting at home, fed, warm, watching telly, with a glass of wine after dinner, and I feel like crying. Odd, very odd.

Uninspired

2009-03-20T22:20:03Z

Not too bad a Saturday, woke to blue skies. Clouding over now though and rain is expected over the rest of the weekend. My mood often mirrors the sky, and that is probably a good reason to move to Nelson region which gets the most sunny days in all of NZ.

Got some work to do, and I'll do it too.

Got up about 9am and read the Bible, then went to make myself a proper weekend breakfast. Fried tomato, sauteed mushrooms with pesto, two eggs sunny side up and two slices of toast. Strangely, it didn't taste anything like what I expected it to taste. Not the same when one is eating alone I guess. Cooking the tomato halves and mushrooms on the pan over the gas fire reminded me of cooking on the gas barbeque out at Pah Rd.

Bought a book Middlesex by the guy who wrote the Virgin Suicides from Borders yesterday. Went in with an intent to buy a book, but nothing in particular in mind. My criteria were: fat (to last me the next two weekends at least), light (taking it in my luggage), complex (to engage my mind) but not entirely about love affairs/sexual escapades/adultery. That last one was born as I meandered around the aisles. I couldn't have known before I began looking that *that* many books were about love affairs/sexual escapades/adultery. Books pretending to be good solid novels too. I'm tired of love affairs/sexual escapades/adultery! Get on with yer lives and do something else meaningful! Take up a hobby, meet friends, discuss politics, have a cook out, get in the workshop, go see an exhibition, have a walk, clean the house, join a class, pick some flowers, take up knitting, hop on a train to somewhere you've never been to. And stop navel gazing!!!!

Sigh. Cranky. I don't want to work, I empathise with the dog who's lying next to me and who gets up periodically to whimper to me, or goes downstairs and whimpers to P. The dog is bored, and don't I know it. And I feel the same way buddy. Well, not bored, just inert. But I know I'll feel better when the work's done, so the trick is to not think about it, and just do it. No I don't feel like it, oh but I'm gonna.

End of week 2

2009-03-20T08:18:55Z

This week I only spent 2 days at my own placement and only 1 with my supervisor. I spent one day at the acute psychiatric ward in town and another at the adolescent acute mental health unit out at Kenepuru.

Both days were very depressing for me.

The first, was depressing because after being away from acute wards and coming back to it I was struck by how it really was the same, whether it was physical or mental health, whether it was Auckland or Wellington, small or big hospital, whether the staff wore uniforms and name badges or casual clothes (and keys around their necks), it was still the same old thing - institutionalisation.

Lack of respect for patients, gossiping about them, not listening, not giving them your full attention, walking away before they can respond to a (closed, rhetorical) question you ask, judging patients by things that really are a matter of personal choice and not a matter of mental health.

At lunchtime I wanted to go home, or back to my own placement, because I was so depressed.

The second day, I was depressed because after hanging out with the kids for a day and playing games, singing songs, eating together, doing stuff together, you realise that is what they really are - just kids. And it's so depressing that they aren't out there doing what other kids their age do. They can't, maybe. They even have to get permission and find someone with a key to get outside into the sun in the courtyard. Like the other acute ward, all the doors are locked! And then of course one particular girl was very depressing because she was catatonic and people who may or may not understand what that is all about were forcing her to do all kinds of things, walking, moving, eating.

My question in mental health is: If a person has the right to refuse treatment for cancer or asthma or whatever, how come a person doesn't have the right to refuse treatment for mental health symptoms? Because they will harm others? Okay fine, they get put under the compulsory treatment order. Because they will harm themselves? Well who made you their mother? A person here has the right to kill themself. Suicide is legal. Treatment can be refused, so why can't food?

There may be times when I am tempted to force a person to do something "for their own good" but I hope I don't get sucked into it. Who made me boss of them or knowing what is best for them? Who says healthcare staff are experts? I reckon rather that the nature of the job attracts power hungry people, who don't really care, and only want to make decisions for people. Not all, but quite a few. To these people I say, go get a life! And make decisions for yourself, spend more time on that, you might benefit from that. Probably their own lives aren't even well thought out. If I ever want to do something "for your own good" may it not be because I treat you as a friend - that's another line not to be crossed. Get things straight. You're a worker, not a mother, not a boss, not an expert and certainly not a friend.

Today I was blue. I think the DP is wearing off and my period is coming. Uncharacteristically, I had carrot cake with icing for dinner and a glass and a half of a lovely Central Otago Pinor Noir and some of yesterday's leftovers when I got back here. Interestingly I had made a beef stew and brown rice, when I was packaging the leftovers I put the rice into the stew to save containers. And today it's become a risotto, lovely! Brown rice doesn't disintegrate as easily as white so still a lovely texture. Also got bought a nice fat book from Borders when I was in town, for downtime, and found of all things, a KnitWorld shop off Cuba St amidst all these quirky shops! Contemplating what combination of merino, cashmere, cotton, silk, possum, alpaca I want for my cardigan at the mo. Won't be able to start until at least I get back to Dunedin.

To bed early then. That would be best for me. And no one can decide that for me, but me. (And God, but He's the ultimate boss so no worries there).

Week 2 is nearly over

2009-03-18T09:21:13Z

And it has been faster than week one if that's even possible and i've been so tired. Week one I clocked up 37.5 clinical hours when I only need 28. So this week I've been given Fri off and my midway assessment has been moved to Monday. Spent today in the acute ward and I must say after being away and then coming back to the acute setting, even though last time it was medical/physical, it's really the same. Two different wards, settings, hospitals, cities, and it's still the same old thing. Imbalance of power, institutionalisation of staff, breezing in and out, ALB.... I was so depressed at lunch time I wanted to go home, or back to my own placement. But it picked up after lunch because 1) we were taking a van out to the coast and buying chocolate on the way 2) I, like other people, am incredibly adaptable and can be sucked into behaving exactly like what I abhorred in the morning! I didn't exactly though, but I was aware the whole time I was absolutely capable of doing so, and would probably, were I working in that setting. Don't think anyone is immune, I'm just fresh enough to observe and realise. It hit me, really. And I think that confirms I don't want to put myself in that kind of setting where I am liable to and will be encouraged to dehumanise and depersonalise patients as part of my coping mechanism.

I mean it was interesting, and in the morning I had a really good time in the art workshop making my first clay dish (I always wanted to learn pottery) with an assortment of staff and patients, but the entire atmosphere made me sad. Not because of the patients, the patients are great! but because of the whole politics and structure and institution of hospital. At least, acute wards. I don't know if rehab wards will be better because you get to know the patients better as humans, or worse because they are "not going anywhere fast" and hence we can make them wait even longer to be seen.

Well that's that. Tomorrow I spend the day with a classmate and her supervisor over at the adolescent MH ward in again a different hospital. Hope that is less depressing, though already I'm suspecting it's more of the same. Hopefully I will be wrong. Then Friday I thought I might head into the art studio in town which hosted today's session (the art teacher comes every week) and try other things. It was so therapeutic! I think I would enjoy working with wood, or stone, or clay. Something from the ground. Like the sensation of digging your bare hands into warm soil, feels really good. There's this sense of being alive and connected to the ground and that's a great feeling. I think living too far away from the ground (in every sense of "far away") makes us sick (in various ways). I think that's where the idea "to be grounded" comes from, and I don't mean being forbidden by parents to go out. It's amazing that they provide an open studio and materials and tutors for anyone to wander in and try something. It's completely free and you don't have to be an artist, or a mental health consumer to go. I'd love to go and spend the morning and just blend in and hang out with other people all relaxed and being ourselves.

will think about it more. for now to bed, it's an early start tomorrow.

Launching into week two

2009-03-16T04:15:29Z

The weekend was rather sociable and I got out and about. On Sat I took the bus to Porirua, then train to Paraparaumu, then bus to B's sister's house. Met the brother in law and niece and nephew and contrary to what I was led to believe (that I was there for coffee), we hit the road immediately! It was a beautiful day (and weekend, the heat's back oh yeah baby!) and we walked along the Waikanae river. The men took bicycles while us girls walked along and chatted very sociably. Walked past a Christian campsite called El Rancho and walked all the way up to where G does vaulting. For other people like me who didn't know what vaulting was, it's gymnastics/acrobatics on a horse! Like a circus! I was so impressed with tiny skinny girl doing that kind of thing. No one was vaulting at the club so too bad for me, I was keen to see what it looked like.

After our huge walk we got back to the house and sat down for a snack, then soon B and I had to leave to catch the bus to the train. She was heading into town for a family do while I was going home. The train was almost an hour late, or else two trains didn't show up (they're meant to be every half hour) but luckily we were together so we chatted about everything. She said the trains weren't the most reliable cos they had to make way for other trains, like the two we *did* see - one was a tourist steam train and another was the overlander from Auckland. Cheh!

Public transport I must say is pretty expensive here. It cost me $11 each way to/from Paraparaumu for bus/train/bus each way. B's train ticket to Wellington cost $10 one way! Incredible. And there are people who commute to the city to work everyday. I wonder if driving can be much cheaper than that? Probably better not to think about it.

Sunday morning woke up feeling confused because my phone decided to daylight save unilaterally. It's really not til 5 April but for some reason it took the liberty of going back one hour while I was asleep so I woke up confused. Went upstairs, found other people and confused them too. But we all made it to church with no problem. Met a Malaysian couple with two young girls who've been here 5 years. The man was telling me all about how to get citizenship and all the tips and tricks. Reminded me a bit of my dad, the mover-shaker type of man. Turns out they go to the same home group as the couple I'm staying with. I feel rather at home in this church despite being there only for the second time. Could be because the group is small and people very friendly and service very interactive and participative. Could be because I found people to talk to and engage in interesting conversation both last and this week, instead of the usual how-are-you-then-walk-away type of interaction with new people. Everyone showed lots of interest in my course and what I'm doing here and I feel very welcome indeed. Maybe it's just Wellingtonians. A friendly and welcoming lot.

Then bussed into town (distinctly felt the "wah big city" feeling welling up in me as the bus entered the CBD) and met up with S and K for coffee in Cuba St. Lovely sunny day and was nice to be out in town. Missed the husband a lot though cos of all the interesting places we had been to together last time we were in Welly and all the interesting places we have yet to explore!

Came home mid afternoon and did quite a lot of work. Prepared for supervision which went well today. My main supervisor was sick and didn't come in so had a lot of time to read articles and things, in the afternoon had supervision and then went home early. Thought I'd do something different since I'd spent the whole morning working hard so went and sat in the library and flipped through two magazines. The gardening one inspired and entertained me somewhat, but the house one made me depressed that I wasn't home with my sweetie! So I left and came back here to relax and enjoy some peace without little kids running and screaming. Libraries here are not like when I was growing up that's for sure.

Bit tired today, cos of brain overload, hopefully tomorrow I'll be out and about with J and doing some fun stuff. Got a visit to the acute ward planned on Wed, will spend a day there, which is perfect cos I'm meeting some (more) Malaysians for dinner in town. Sociable!

Feels like a friday

2009-03-12T06:51:01Z

Today was strange but not bad. Good, actually.

Woke up feeling as if I'd overslept. It was actually a few minutes my alarm clock was set to go off at 7am. Got up and started the morning routine but kept checking clocks and timers on appliances to see if I was late. This strange feeling I think was produced cos I was woken by the sound of P leaving the house (found out he went out for breakfast and I saw his van driving uphill home as I was walking down later) and reinforced when I saw a note for S to wake A at 830, then seeing S knocking on A's door while I was eating breakfast. I leave the house just before 8 so if S was really waking A at 830 I *was* late! But I wasn't, so it was really strange.

The first week is almost over and today feels like the end of the week, actually. I wonder if despite what I earlier said to my supervisors, I might enjoy a Friday off after all. Maybe half days would be good, anyway I think tomorrow will be a short day. I would have done more than the necessary number of hours for the week already even by the end of today.

God has provided me with all I could ask for though I still miss being in our own home. Small inconveniences or adjustments, but I really couldn't have asked for better - my room is rather separate from the rest of the house (though P's office is next door) and I have my own shower, toilet and a sink area where I make my bedtime drink and have a biscuit. Good because in the evenings the family watches telly upstairs and I socialise with them as much as I want but when I want quiet I can come downstairs and work. They don't bother me when I don't make myself visible so that's good too. This weekend I plan to hang around upstairs a bit more to be more social, and to do some cleaning (the mother seems very keen on a clean house so I like to chip in where I use the space most). I'm a quick walk from the shops and transport and church is down the hill too. I enjoy a lovely walk down and up everyday, getting exercise and a fantastic view of the surrounding hills and valley. Work is 3 bus stops away though the bus goes on the motorway so I don't know if I would walk it. But certainly I see many cyclists and they inspire me to bike to/from work next time if I live in a city (and the route is flat-ish).

The team is great and I'm learning lots. Not that much direct OT work with service users but it's nice to get to know them slowly through being around and seeing them and chatting a bit. Hope to do some weeding with S and some of the residents either tomorrow or Monday to get to know them over activity instead of face to face full on stuff.

This morning had an interesting meeting which involved a true comedy of errors. We found it funny afterwards though. I wrote a note which he said was really good, and that made me really pleased. I'm still in the stage of being stoked with writing good notes. Still novel.

Tomorrow we are taking someone on the train to the Hutt and back. That should be real fun plus it's a true blue OT intervention/assessment. Can't wait!

Day 1

2009-03-09T07:31:44Z

Day 3 in welly and day 1 on the job...

It was very positive. Work environment homely and comfortable, very well equipped kitchen, even got a freestanding stove and oven! Supervisors lovely and easy to get along with, no generation gap there. My main supervisor is a 24 year old surfer who reminds me of D, down to the sunny disposition and blond beard. He's quitting to go travelling with his girlfriend so placement will finish early. Problem is then that I can't find a cheap flight to go home earlier on! Even if I finish on Wed, my current flight is on Sunday! Argh. I don't want to sit around here and do nothing. It's homely but not my home!

Anyway got the bus ok, got lunch from supermarket, got a bit wet in morning rain, went round visiting services in morning (nice to be riding along in the car instead of sitting indoors), lunch, then went to Porirua to visit more services, then to a cafe with both supervisors for our initial meeting. Then got dropped to J'ville where i got groceries and trudged up the hill. Dinner was made for me (! Haven't had chance to talk to the mum about me making my own food, though I must say it's nice to come home to hot meal) and we all sat down together, chatted a bit with both P and S separately, was nice, a bit like being part of the family. First time eating with the daughter, typical teenager always out, plus this one is active in drama in school and church too. M rang and asked us out for a walk, the parents had home group but I went and met B and M and M's husband. Went for a lovely walk up the hill and along a ridge until it got too windy and we turned back. Didn't see any calves but spotted wild blackberries and true to expectations the intrepid sisters went in among the bushes and thorns in their shorts and picked them. They were lovely ripe and sweet! I must say sweet blackberries is a rarity. Absolutely scrumptious and I was really impressed how M knew what berries were what along the way.

A brisk walk back in the darkening and cooling evening and a nice end to the day. All that prayer certainly never goes to waste :)

(just occurred to me funny how both placements are/were in places beginning with "w")